Dahlia House

💢 https://youtu.be/y-0KcZ5M1U4

the only time I have to write is if I wake up at 4am, and if I don't have to be at work by 9am...I love this. I am not in school yet, but I am trying. city college does not have online classes in the field I want to take, so I need to do online courses, which I have to pay for and which is really frustrating me trying to make the best decisions along with figuring out my finances. but I still  wake up at 4am anyways, even if I have not officially started school I still wake up and train my body to do what I have to do: study, and yoga. I make my bed as soon as I wake up. I make herbal tea, no coffee, no caffeine, and I stay awake. I read from four different books, including one of my favorite versions of the Bible: a Life Recovery Bible, in a New Living Translation. the Bible is not a scripted reading for me, I simply open the book to whatever page opens, and read from there. today I opened to a page entitled Reflections on Judges. I haven't read the whole page yet but I immedi...

💢 https://youtu.be/Q4dCmOAtEw8

💢 https://youtu.be/NvN0ItGmn2U

I don't know what my mother was thinking. back then sex ed class was in 6th grade and I was the only one that had to go to the library. being forced to do this led me to discovering that I loved to read books about dragons and fantasy but I was alone, as usual. ive always had friends in school but that's where they were, school, not home, not anywhere else. I remember this girl had gotten her period and everyone said she was a slut. I still remember her beautiful face, lips, and big hair. I remember I was a tyrant. I got in fights with other kids, even in elementary school. a boy lifted up my dress, so I punched him in the face, a lot. a girl made fun of my shiny forehead, so I punched her too. but this life of fighting was nothing new in 6th grade. ive been fighting since I was born. this to be told another time as my eyes are already tearing up here at exactly 444 a.m. I wanted to talk about my mother not letting me go to sex ed. something in the Just For Today book opened th...

💢 https://youtu.be/jpL5UQ1v_3I

So I have just created a youtube channel Dahlia House. This is to mark my journey so I can see my own progress along the way. These videos will be raw and recorded and loaded on first take. My schooling is a two year program and I am very sure I will have done so much by then. I mention in this video that I do not have an NA sponsor but that I have experienced just a small taste of the power of working the 12 Step program. Going to meetings every week and reading literature also shows me the power NA has in other lives. I am in no rush to find one person to confide in, what I have is too much for just one person to handle. So this blog will be my outlet and I will confide in all of you, since it is all of you that have made my experiences possible. I will learn to forgive and you will learn to forgive. I will learn to accept and you will learn to accept. We can go on this journey of healing together. And it is a blessing for me to include your stories to share with the world on my blo...

What this is about what this isn't about. First I will say what this isn't about: I will never breach the confidentiality of my massage or yoga clients, or those that come to me for counsel. This blog is about life as I have experienced it. I am finally recording all my life events. I am finally not going to be ashamed or embarrassed or full of fear. Noone can handle my story, so I will write it in here to let it all go. There is so much to tell, I can't possible put it nor want to put it in any order, just the order that comes to my head. Things show themselves to me on a constant all day and all night, no matter what I'm doing. This blog is about past, present, and future. The things I've been thru, want to go through, and will go thru. There is no time is my life for grammar, spell check, and proper punctuations. You will understand. So don't complain or talk shit, I know what I am doing and so do you, punctuations or ALL CAPS is nothing to get angry about. ...