Mini Share

I went to 2 NA meetings today... at the second one I shared something that I would like to share with you now...I have been running away since I was 11 years old...I used to dream all the time and longed to be kidnapped...I wanted some stranger to rescue me and take me away from the situation I was in... but noone ever came to save me...we lived in a 2 bedroom apartment on the second floor filled with small roaches and other torments...the person who was supposed to be my mother slept in the bigger master room, while the 3 of us had the much smaller room with bunkbeds and a crib...I feel like I cried most days there...I feel like I was beaten most days there...she is still sick to this day...I still hate her and wish harm on her to this day... but the good thing is that I hardly ever think of her so I don't have to have that negative shit in me much...at the meeting I shared that since 11 years of age when I got my period in 7th grade I would jump out of my second story bedroom window, just to get away from the torment...to get away from the loneliness...we never ever had friends over...I would run away and just walk the streets...one time a man in his 30s maybe even 40 asked if I wanted a ride...it was dark outside so I said yes...I had nothing with me, not even a jacket...he took me to his apartment...I sat on his sofa...I had no life skills, no talking skills, my supposed mother never let me speak and always told me to shut up or shushed me or snapped her fingers...I'm so glad i cannot snap my fingers...i sat on his sofa...I remember he talked to me just a little then took down my pants...I said nothing, just sat there...then he kissed and licked my little hairy pussy...I said and did nothing...he kept looking at me as I sat still and said: "dont u like what I'm doing?" I shrugged my shoulders...he said some other things and said I could get him trouble if I stayed because hes a fireman...so I pulled my pants up and continued walking...I remember nothing else of this night, just that he didnt fuck me or try n make me suck his dick and that I didnt stay the night...sometimes my supposed mother would be driving around and pick me up from walking the streets...eventually I did run into a Mexican teenage boy one day who found me wandering and took me to his family...whenever I ran away I would go over there and be around his gangster friends and be fed...a lot of major life experiences happened around being there, which I will save for another time...allz I know about them these days is that in my 20s and 30s I've driven down their block, things have never been the same.........